Or Twilight for nerdy 17-year old boys.
Im not ashamed to say that I, like many, many people, am influenced by hype when it comes to movies. If theres a constant brightly colored flashy thingy flashing right in my eyes with an exaltated voice shrilly yelling: DIS IS SO AWESOM U MUST U MUST SEE IT, in addition to a ton of praising reviews, satisfied fantards and all, I tend to follow.
And in my circle, there was a lot of fangasming about this Scott Pilgrim vs the world movie. The trailers werent bad either, but the more important thing was Edgar Wrights name under the tag director. The thing that sold my attention to this ehm, movie, alone. I mean, I naively believed that the man whod done Shawn of the Dead and Hot Fuzz is a demigod and certainly couldnt excrete a shitty movie from his holy creative ass.?
Yep, thats me. Im influenced. I went and illegally downloaded the movie. Watched it, pausing every 15 minutes or so to get a break. And this is my opinion, a very harsh one amongst the squeaky voices of overjoyed fans who readily plaster CULT MOVIE all over it.
One thing to say, is that Im not a hipster. Im not a professional welfare-fed slacker or porch monkey. Im not a person without a profession or realistic goals. Cant say that Im some masked undercover vigilante either, but it wouldnt be too smug to say that I have quite firm beliefs, principles and aspirations. Thats why when I watched Scott Pilgrim vs. the world I steadily felt a rising disgust and loathing to the presented characters, their lifestyle and what they embody as fucking cultural memes.
What a person has to realize that this film is about the most bland, stale and BORING pieces of shit that was ever made. It glorifies slacking. It glorifies being nobody, a drifting casual piece of wood that JUST WANTS A BIT OF HAPPINESS N LURVS BAWWWW. Those arent protagonists, those are slobby kidults, lazy little NEETs. And this is what the heroes of the new age are?
So, whats Scott Pilgrim about? Its about people of my age group, that live like animals eat, sleep, play the guitar and mingle about in their little social circle munching on junkfood and very bleakly humorizing about their pesky uninteresting lives and relationships. Oh, theyre wanna be rock superstars. Most of them dont work. Work is for the uncool, amirite? Theyre nerdy. Theyre young and open for love. All the associated bullcrap.
And how is this supposed to be a basis for a cult movie? I mean yeah, youve got movies like say, Smiths Clerks and Clerks 2, which too tell the story of a tightly-knitted pseudo subculture group. But Clerks are an actual comedy, fast-paced and explosive, not overburdened by pink sappy snots, and Scott Piligrim is just that wishy-washy dullness. Clerks, Jay and Silent Bob strike back - these movies have actual CHARACTERS, with their respective lifestories, quirks and goals, but here its just a story of a confused prick who failed to grow up, doesnt know what to do and only near the end realizes that he has self-respect. Self-respect for WHAT?
See, its for all the non-conformist kids. For the current generation that thinks that love, hugs and attention should be poured over em just because they exist. For the tweens that think that theyre a special snowflake and a deep personality just because they once said or did something outrageous or creative. None of the heroes are admirable none of them did anything constructive with their lives or achieved an important landmark. See, thats why its Twilight for guys its the same wish fulfillment story of getting the perfect girl whilst screwing the other, not working and becoming a rockstar. Its got all the flash and sparkles the Twilight saga got, only with less vampires but even more gay.
And dont say its lifelike. You can have lifelike characters, they may have flaws or be weak-willed or downright pathetic. But Scott Pilgrim isnt lifelike and believable, hes just an infantile self-centered manchild. I dont care if thats lifelike I would as vehemently react if Chris-chan got a full-length film feature.
So really, this movie can evoke only two reactions. One: oh shit, Im a nerd/gamer/slacker I ADORE THIS TO DEATH and second: Im too old for this shit, what the fuck EVIL EXES?
Now a few words about the production itself. Visually nope, nothing new. Movies had implemented comic elements and styles before S.P and better that here. Speedy Racer, Sin City, etc. Anime speedlines and pop-up texts arent the MOST AMAZING thing Ive ever seen. Meta-media had been here long, all cinephiles are used to it. Many other directors and producers successfully merged cartoon, comic and film to create a memorable effect, and "Scott Pilgrim" isn't the breakthrough in this.
Just watch this and say it ain't so: www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWA2iz…
I like anime but not to the point of catching obscure non-visualized references.
Vigeogames? Sorry, but in videogames I value innovation, not the nostalgia and retro factor. The stylized battles were cool and not nearly enough to drag this crap out of the pit of shame.
As a result, Im left with two hours of sluggish torture in the image of a romantic comedy acted out by emotionless robots from Planet X.
A movie about the relationships of mentally challenged teenagers and their extremely dull romance? Scott and Ramona are equally uninteresting as characters, unless youre one of those fags who love the "perpetually confused and ALL OVER THE PLACE" anime char stereotypes. I couldnt care less about them and the others with all their insipid drama. It's VERY drawn out. Soem scenes have nothing more than the character staring in to the void with empty eyes. There's a lot of moments when you can't just tolerate the boredome, the staleness of the act, the crawling snail pace of the NON-EXISTANT plotline, and just fast forward the motherfucker.
The humor? Scott Pilgrims humor is akin to being introduced to some strangers and watching them spew their IN jokes from some dark corner of the room whilst getting drunk on beer meaning that the humor is so specific that it takes a certain mindset of an insecure suckup to decipher it or find it funny. And of course, where'd you go without the propagation of homosexuality - this film has all the nine yards of gay jokes and rainbow farts.
Between the endless whining, the closed-up humor and the sheer fail of a slackers lifestory, you get the action sequences, the only little flashlights of positive emotions in this murky bog. But alas, only about 4 fights are worth it the lesbian fight, the Gideon fight, the rock-out fight, and the fight with the first Indian Ex, which was actually really cool and energetic.
Plus, in the nutshell, this movies just tries too hard at being funny and ironic and all that. I really hate it when a supposedly fun movie sorta winks at you and goes all: "yeah, we know that I'm all gags and sparks and action, but you DO UNDERSTAND THAT THERE'S A DEEPER MEANING BEHIND THIS, THE META LEVEL OF IRONY? DON'T MY POP-CULTURE REFERENCES PUT YOU IN AWE?" No, they don't. I can see the money-milking mechanism whirring away like mad, all the hidden loops and traps.
In the end - its no wonder it failed. This movie was targeted to a specific demographic. If you hated it dont feel bad. Its not that youre a mainstream conformist sheep, which youd be inevitably called by the movies fans if you try to argue their points.
Its just bad. Its not for you. Its for 25-year old people that got frozen in time, in the 90s, when the best gaming system was the SNES, love was true, cartoons and comics were important and shitty garage rock was a necessary thing to fan over.
Thank any god you believe in that you're not one of them.