Something hilarious, fucktarded and disturbing happened to me recently, like out of bad, ill-done american comedy that I decided to share with you for laughs and tell you how the IT industry is actually lulzy.
So, a while ago I was working at this telco expo - me, a few other reporters and our sales managers, who have set up the booth and stand for our print media department, and promoted, in addition to the online portal, a few magazines, research bulletins and other IT analyst stuff we do. The day was short, so the sales managers left early and left me "in charge" of the booth, while I was finishing writing my news article. I hopped on a bar stool near the stand, the magazines I was supposed to hand out splayed before me, everythings cool. Our booth, aside from the stand and some shelves for the printed production, had a table with like, four chairs, located slightly behind me, near our group's banner.
As I was writing my stuff, I was handing out magazines to people passing by, remembering my good ol' glory days at mobile phone retail, everything was going swell - the expo was near closing, other exponents began dis-assembling their booths, and I thought I was gonna leave soon too.
Then these two people waddle up to my stand. One, a short, slightly plump senior woman, carrying two large stuffed bags - stuffed with merch and gifts from various other booths. The other, a high, pasty and chubby dude in his late 20s, extra-dumbfaced, with that whispy "I'm-a-retard" moustache and a look of total, sheep-like bewilderment and exhaustion - he had bags too. I figure it's the woman's son. Both have the expo badges.
They ask me if we have calendars. I saw that we don't. They proceed to check out the magazines, I urge them to check them out and take a few.
Which they do. Then the woman's eye falls on the table. Now, the table was covered in flyers, there was gift plastic luggage tag lying on it, my cheap plastic business card holder, and a Mars candybar that one of my coworkers left for me, since I was running around the expo all day hungry as fuck and the nice chick decided I should have it. The woman squints, and asks if she can have the luggage tag, which was a present given to a sales manager by some software company, but he left it cuz he didn't need it. I say "sure, why not", and cringe at her awful hillbilly accent. From her looks it's evident she's a "peripheral", something we muscovites call less sophisticated and lowclass people from the regions.
The woman sends her sons to collect the badge, he waddles towards it reluctantly, and then the woman asks if they can sit at the table for a while.
Again, my generosity kicked in - I figured they were tired from going round the expo all day, so I said - "go on", and turn back to writing the article. With half an ear listened to their chatter, didn't comprehend much, and went on with typing. Then, in like five minutes, I heard them stand up and leave.
I sat at the stand for about 10 more minutes, and then, deciding I typed enough, started to swivel on my stool - and caught site of the table.
It was CLEAR. No luggage tag, naturally. But NO TORTURE-DEVICE'S BUSINESS CARD HOLDER. NO CANDY BAR, EITHER.
At first, I was speechless. I walked to the table, walked around it, peeked beneath in hopes that the items rolled there - nope.
The fucknuggets even took a bunch of shitty flyers.
I mean, okay, expo's are big, but this wasn't some fucking fur expo or washing machine expo - no, a professional, international telco one, with software and hardware vendors, carriers, whatever you want! And some of the visitors were sticky-hand brain-dead cleptomaniacs! This ain't no fucking professional tech community!
I just want to know this - what kind of insane dumbfuck steals a PVC BUSINESS CARD HOLDER and some dude's CANDY-BAR? Worst thing, is that those cards were important - about 30 of my new business aquaintances, not to mention about 10 of my own. And I fucking NEED those contacts. Plus, I have somewhat of a collector's attitude towards business cards - I collect them, I cherish them, I like how they're all different and neat and that I can flip through them and remember the people more vividly than when it's in a phonebook or something, a viable piece of a meeting I had with a valuable news source.
And these idiotic mentally ill people appropriated HOURS of my hard work at the expo! I lamented all over the business cards and cursed the hillbilly shitfaces. Hope they choke to death on the cards when they try to eat them, because it's the only thing these pieces of mentally insufficient shits can do with em.
They took even the candy bar. THE MOTHERFUCKING CANDYBAR.
The horror, the horror...