Deviant Login Shop
 Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:icontorture-device: More from torture-device


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
April 28, 2013
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
12,177
Favourites
18 (who?)
Comments
178
×

Parasitic dependance or BEST FRENS FOREVURR

Journal Entry: Sun Apr 28, 2013, 1:00 PM
Links

Art Status
Works in Progress
1

Blogs in progress
1

Collaborations
None




Lately I've been thinking about how incomplete many people are. About a trail of wrecked expectations I leave behind to my own general indifference about the matter.

I'd like to share some of my observations with you, my watchers.

You see, I'm an extrovert. I'm social, I'm talkative, I quickly involve myself with other people I like that, really. I don't expect much from people, and feel that general communication is a pleasant way to fill in time between productive things and I hope people don't expect much from me either in such situations.

But I've learned maybe a bit late in my life, that many people mistake my extroversion and sociality for openness and friendliness. They often think that they are my friends, when I think of them as of aquaintances at best. And thus, they start to project this "friendship" where it doesn't exist. They mistake my altruism for friendliness. They mistake my desire to communicate for something bigger.

And at a point, they get confronted with the fact that I'm not a lifeboat, and wouldn't hold their shit for them.

This stems, in my point of view, of the modern incompletedness of people, that is stimulated by everything around us, starting from education, to media and medicine. People are constantly told to rely on something to rely on others. But no, not just rely completely depend and not deem being an autonomous entity.

People are born into a paradigma of codependancy of the worst kind. That's why you get social networks popularity surging. Why people are so INFANTILE nowadays. They are incomplete, and can't exist without a plethora of supports and crutches that would complete them. Without reattaching like a deep-sea parasitic angler to some other poor sod.

This leaves many with a warped perspective on true friendship and meaningful relationships. When you're in a frantic, frenzied search for a tit to suck on after you've parted with your mothers' one, you fail to realize that strong bonds with others is a matter of true compatibility and hard work. Friendships build through overcoming challenges and hardships.

Once, one of my friends asked what is friendship to me. I said trust and selflessness where it matters. Or something along the lines. Friendship, a true friendship, is when you trust a person to not fail you for an idiotic reason when you're in dire need. But this can only be known through a test, when such a situation arists. Therefore, friendship emerges as a postfactum occurrence.

But today, what does it constitute? A facebook "like". A sharing of common interest. Talking to someone. Having a laugh. Total devaluation as a result for a societal pressure to find someone to depend on. But that's the irony people who form bonds amongst each other are not dependable at all in such situations.

That's why you have so many failed marriages, relationships and so on. People constantly confuse mild interest or passion for something that requires years to build and test through.

Worst part, is that when you're not a total autistic sperg with zero social skills, people think they're entitled to your friendship or interest just because they exist and because they're a special snowflake.

It usually goes like this, at least happened to me, often the following interaction is a courtesy of one of my actual friends, and it was nailed on the head:

"I'm awkward, not very smart, not talented or skilled, my self-esteem is low and I'll get offended by your success, I'm rather ugly and/or not appealing in general, and I don't do many productive things? WANNA BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER?"

"No? Don't wanna be my friend, while I offered the world to you? You grew politely dis-attached? WELL, I'LL GET OFFENDED AND STALK YOUR ASS FOR 2 YEARS! DONT WANNA BE MY FRIEND YOU'LL GET AN ENEMY!" </b>

Yes, I had/have it. I have crazy stalkers. I have chicks who thought that after sending me their topless photos, I'll be with them forever. I have people who stalk my ass, make fake facebook accs after me, people who can't get over the fact that I'm not their "friend" anymore, when I specifically warned them that they're expecting more than I could dish out for them. People who decided, as stated above, that they've "seen through my bullshit", that  I'm an abhorrent douchebag that didn't appreciate them and are now on a quest to right all my wrong-doings, bring me to justice, fix their wounds, revenge, etc. Because, God forbid we have a sense of reason and responsibility, and move on. That's not an option.

And this is really tragic. We're atomizing. People that have the potential to evolve in strong, autonomous, life-enjoying personalities, are stuck in a state of blood-sucking larvae in needs of hosts. And no host like having parasites. Politeness, etiquette, social boundaries - fuck that, we here have more friends to make! More people to assert our worthless, meaningless existence!

Women are especially prone to that. Ironically, the more feminists and other "strong women"-types call for female independence, they all devolve pretty quickly into dependance from other people, women and men, clinging to whatever assertion of themselves they could muster.

And modern men go down that road too, with the "friendzone" and "nice-guy" crap.

There are so many weak, incomplete people, writhing and wallowing around in their apparent uselessness, it's mind-boggling. Naturally, they get drawn to the stronger personalities, to those that could function by themselves, without being a bicorporal entity made of two losers.

There are so many, but friendship is possible only among the strong, those with the willpower.

In all other cases, it's parasitic, incomplete and wretched bonds. And once you realize you're having this, and if you're sane, you severe them.

But note it's always the parasite that gets harmed, the parasite that wails and flails the most from being hurt and cut off from the source of food and energy.


Free yourself, if you're reading this.



Add a Comment:
 
:iconalexmdle:
AlexMdle Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Student Digital Artist
*when such a situation arises
*no host likes having parasites

Otherwise quite meaningful.
Reply
:iconcosmicspider:
cosmicspider Featured By Owner May 8, 2013
I recently freed myself from one of these parasites actually... It was someone I had befriended when I was much younger and far less socially experienced, but as the years went by, I was noticing the neediness, the continued failures and inability to learn from repeated mistakes, and how this person would come running to me for a shoulder to cry on every goddamned time, without really having much to offer me but a growing litany of unhappiness and discontent with themselves and their life. I was really doubting their worth as a friend and seriously wishing I could just cut ties, but didn't know how to let them down easily. In the end my life circumstances took care of it for me... When I told her I was moving away from the city, a long distance, she just flipped. Started bawling her eyes out, proclaiming that I was 'leaving her' and that 'she was losing me and wouldn't be able to function without me' and all I could think or feel was thank fuck I won't have to put up with this shit anymore. I have my times of weakness and sometimes I do need someone, but I never expect it, and I certainly don't see anybody as my automatic source of hugs and comfort. I like to pride myself on my independence in life, and it seems much more frightening to depend on someone else blindly than it is to trust yourself and go it alone. But we live in a time where people are told that they are valued and deserve everything they want, and that includes these demanding 'friendships'.
Reply
:iconimmaculatereprobate:
ImmaculateReprobate Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Extroversion is genetic, more activity and blood flow in the frontal lobe in introverts, whereas extroverts have more blood flow to the emotional part of the brain. With lower activity in the frontal lobe comes more confidence in one's lacking ability. Makes for amusing, overconfident, over opinionated, and illogical people.

Extroverts are the chimps that pick bugs out of each other's hair and eat them, introverts are the ones who invent tools for the extroverts to bash each others heads in.

For the record, I only read the part in bold, and I disagree with the talented and skilled bit. <3
Reply
:iconpatty-lumpkins:
patty-lumpkins Featured By Owner May 9, 2013
Fixed personality traits directly correlated with fixed circulation to brain cells? How would blood flow in the brain be measured? wouldn't profound differences in brain activity have to do with the patterns and distributions of neurotransmitters in relation to the environment rather than the delivery of food and oxygen to cells? 2 dimensional measurements make lazy and insufficient explanations when ascribed to Euclidean minds.
Reply
:iconimmaculatereprobate:
ImmaculateReprobate Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Reply
:iconmintcest:
Mintcest Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Hobbyist
Wow you actually say something I can agree with for once. Well this, and the art is duty philosophy.

I used to be really clingy and needy and one point and getting over that, learning to love and focus on myself, and gaining a general ego, was the best thing to ever happen to me.

Relationships, platonic or romantic, can only work if both parties are whole.

Now I just need to figure out how to draw faster because I'm slow as hell and genuinely want to improve.
Reply
:iconpandemicalshade:
PandemicalShade Featured By Owner May 2, 2013
Very true.
Reply
:iconsev-tatius:
Sev-Tatius Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013
The comments, almost better than the journal hah.
Reply
:icontorture-device:
torture-device Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yes, so many rectal pains.
Reply
:iconthundermane:
Thundermane Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013
And even here there is a substantial amount of people licking your ass. I won't fall for it though.
This journal is oozing negativity and - even though I know little of you - I would conclude that you haven't actually had many real friendships before. Just not much love in your life at all. Maybe it is how your life was, or where you are from, but strength and talents reveal in many ways. I have been a rather frail person for a long while, but both with the help from others and my own will combined I have pulled myself from depths of feeling useless and insecurity. Now I am instead a person who helps others. And I do it with love. Life should not be lived alone, it isn't by dragging or clinging, it is together. Apparently because you are such a dominant individual in a particular way, you also attract particular individuals that cling. But do you really have friends that help you, and you help them no matter what? Even if they had great depressions, stress and whatnot for years? I accept people the way they are, and with patience people can become useful and powerful as well.
Reply
Add a Comment: