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Submitted on
April 25, 2012
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MC T-Dawg in das haus

Journal Entry: Wed Apr 25, 2012, 1:26 PM
  • Listening to: ESC - "Alpha male"
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So I was watching this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgVwv0…, and I found it truely hilarious, so me and :iconwalking-maelstrom: had an idea for an Epic Rap Battle between the current superpower leaders. So I made up the lyrics for Putin and Medvedev. Man, a wigger died inside me. A painful, torturous death.

So I dunno where to post this shit, cuz we thought it was pretty funny, so post it in my journal. Niggaz ya'll!

Putin:

Hey Obama, I saw you! You shined shoes for Reagan?
Me and my homeboy Medvedev here like a two-headed eagle
I'm regal, 140 percent - you're a fucking Oreo
When I drop the N-bombs you'll gonna remember!

Medvedev:

I'm the master of the nano-techno-logy,
I got facebook and twitter, tracing like K-G-B
Skolkovo's my silicon valley I have constructed
I'm so innovative that Jobs self-destructed!
Reset ya? I'm gonna reboot you to your face -
And no Obama, this shit ain't 'bout the race

Putin:
I-raq? Dafuq? Ya nigga on crack?
Look at Saakashvili – he's eating his tie
Cuz when you fuck with Russia, you niggaz DIE
No lie – we got Hitler to prove it, and a whole
Buncha frenchies, so don't sweat it, sootie

Medvedev:
I got a big Topol-M, and it' aint compensation
With separating warheads, confusing your NMD-stations
What's that, Obama? Put "shut"-down in the "Shuttle"?
Soyuz still here, hard hitting your nuts and Nasa -
Not being subtle, you lost the space, ha!

Putin:
So watcha gonna do, first black "President"?
Fancy Nobel prize, acting all innocent?
Too bad, cuz Vlad's back in the house
So pack the Hawaiian shirt and wave us goodbye
Oh my! Is that Hillary Clinton? She looks like a man,
Only on sertraline. It must suck – being chosen for skin
At least in Mother Russia we dump the votes in a garbage bin
No sin, in getting elected again – the only thing that'll get you erected,
Is your MediCare bill.

Who you're calling a dictator? I punch tigers and sharks
While driving a warplane, not riding "green" cars!
I put "dick " in the "tater" and "Tor" in the rest
Man, you can't handle Vlad, don't mess with the best!

Medvedev:
I'm Russia's fourth president, and you know "4" is great
It means "death" in Chinese, and the upcoming Reich
Oh wait? Did I say "Reich"? I'm sorry, I've been called
"Chubby Adolf", it must've remained. But yes, I detained
Some homos in jail – and passed down a bill to have pedos
Nailed. Not a whole of em nailed, just their cоjones – you wish
Your republicans had so much... cоjones.

Putin:
My balalaika skills make the ghost of Lennon weep
I drink tons of vodka while you hippies smoke weed
I roll in a motherfucking tank, check out these tracks
And you hadn't killed Osama, quit lying, Barack.

They said Ras-putin was the Russian queen's lover,
But this boy Vlad Putin is aiming higher – It's not just the queen,
It's the whole fucking country -  set it on the fire!
Messiah – for the blue-collar class – James Bond? I shot him.
Right in the ass!

They say Put In – and I put it alright
Stick my dick down your throat till your glands are defiled
Not afraid of no NATO, you be bringing it on -
They say Put In – and they see my hard-on.
So really Obama, democracy's a joke -
Get on with the times and admit you are broke
and choke on that mortgage disaster,
While I milk the oil titties like the prime pimp-fucking master.

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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon May 1, 2012  Student Writer
...this generated very, very amusing mental images.
Reply
:iconnaust187:
I don't know whether to buy you a bottle of the best fucking vodka out there and applaud you or just simply laugh my ass off.......
Reply
:iconthat-jive-peafowl:
That-Jive-Peafowl Apr 29, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
This was hilarious, but only because of the Engrish.
Reply
:iconzetsu-0-sakura:
Still a better rap song than Lil Wayne. :iconcmonplz:
Reply
:iconkeydan:
True dat yo.
Reply
:iconticklespickles:
TicklesPickles Apr 26, 2012  Student General Artist
Hahah
Drugs
Reply
:iconcrimsonmagpie:
CrimsonMagpie Apr 26, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Go wash your hands, boy! :iconmadnoesplz:
Reply
:iconerevis:
Erevis Apr 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Needs to me more meaningless babble between the meaningful lyrics, think like a black man with with white man ideals :P
Reply
:iconerevis:
Erevis Apr 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hahaha.
Reply
:iconanalog-cyborg:
Analog-Cyborg Apr 26, 2012   General Artist
I''m wat

I can't even words right now,,,,.
Reply
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