Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:icontorture-device: More from torture-device


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
February 24, 2013
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
22,987 (5 today)
Favourites
8 (who?)
Comments
287
×

African geniuses to launch Spooknig 1

Journal Entry: Sun Feb 24, 2013, 12:31 PM
  • Listening to: ESC -
Links

Art Status
Requests
Never

Trades
Open

Collaborations
Open

Stamps
- 5 - by Future-Blitzkrieg :thumb175694662: :thumb101102976: Stamp - Second Amendment by MauserGirl
:thumb47507256: Love Gasmasks Stamp by junkpile Warning....barbed wire by Big-Argonian
Combichrist by Hitmontop :thumb123004417: EBM addicted by RideFire
:thumb85682633: Violence? Yesplz by Weeniemann Sarcasm is my native language by Frostpebble
Comment Before You Favourite by BoffinbraiN :thumb63442304:



So people, this is sort breaking news and hot shit, so fucking hot that when I read about this, I had like severe laughter-induced convulsions up to the point where I nearly wet myself and vomited from happiness. Happiness puke, yep, that's right.

In any case, you know, me being a white supremacist and all, I get these pinko libfags all over my shit with the same mantra over and over:

"African people are exactly like me and you, they have as much talented people as everywhere else, they're vibrant, and harmonious with nature, and beautiful, and capable of the most wondrous things - and if they don't achieve anything, it's because WHITE MAN IS HOLDING THEM DOWN TO THIS VERY DAY! Racist whites robbed Africa of their riches, sold all the negroid race Einsteins into slavery, DUUUUH!" "POC's are just as smart and intelligent as you, even more, because they're not RAYCISS!".

They're telling every white person that black people are equal, that they are all future doctors, scientists, the cream of the crop of humanity - and the only reason why they arent such NOW, because facts say that blacks have the potential, but not the result, is because of RAYCISSSM everywhere, lack of edumacation and praise for the black race.

Well, I will present to you, my watchers, the hugest slap to the face of SWPL, bleeding-heart egalitarian white shitheads and social justice warriors. I will present to you the real African achievement black people amount to when there is no evil whitey holding their hand and whipping their back, figuratively speaking.

I give you - Spooknig 1, the Ugandan homebrew Space (anal) probe to launch a mouse, and then a black person. The pinnacle of Black teknawlagay!

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

And no, this is serious shit people. This aerogrill-ricecooker hybrid is the spacecraft Ugandans intend to launch at the nearest forest... sorry, space orbit.

Let's hear from the scientists and venture capitalists themselves:

Uganda will soon launch the first space observer called Cadimella, Capt. Chris Nsamba, the chief executive officer and founder of the African Space Research Program (ASRP), has revealed.

Nsamba was briefing the Vice-President, Edward Ssekandi, who inspected the launch pad of the space observer at Kimaka Airfield in Jinja on Monday.

"This has demonstrated that Ugandans can also participate in sophisticated programmes. This is impressive and the Government will support the association. I am going to brief the President about this," Ssekandi said.

Nsamba revealed that the space probe has self-defence, anti-time missile features, which protect it from being hit by missiles destined to destroy it in case it passes in the space of another country.

After its launch, they will put a mouse in it and will have it lifted to the stratosphere by a helium balloon.

"We shall send a mouse to space. If it comes back alive, it will mean that Uganda is able to send human beings into space and we shall embark on constructing a new space observer that a person can use," Nsamba said


This, my friends, is fucking Hi-tech. Not your dumb iPhones, electric cars, vacuum trains and ISS. This is what creative minds do when they are confronted by lack of resource and funds. You snap a 120mm PC fan and a webcam to a rice-cooker, then break apart some calculators to form solar-panel arreys, scotch-tape it together and voi-la - you have a SOPHISTICATED AIRCRAFT with SELF-DEFENDING ANTI-TIME MISSLE features and then have it launched in space with a mouse on-board with a helium balloon.

Never mind there is no visible defence systems, nevermind that helium balloons cannot into space, never mind it's not even pressurized - awww who am I kidding, why would you pressurize a bean pot - never mind noone know what is this mysterious African weapon such as an anti-time missle? No, the power of Black Hope and Change will charge it right up to greet the motherfucking alien niggaz. And of course, it has defences, because you know, all the jealous whitey and azn nations are gonna target this flying turd-saucer with their ICBMs, because DEY RAYCISS!

Here are some technical specifications of this Ugandan miracle breakthrough:

-Orbit Altitude: Over 176km Above Sea Level
-Orbit Speed Range: 6200km/h
-Life On-board: Mice/Rat
-Re-entry method: 3 phase shoot deployment in ascending order
-Oxygen: 8.3litres
-Number of dake pilots/controllers: 4 persons excluding mission commander
-Space Collection: Will collect dust molecules from space neighborhood for lab analysis in regard to ice age
-Ability: Can be controlled from anywhere in the world
-Re-Entry cooling systems, manual and remotely deployed.
-Anti float in mice chamber -Anti float method: magnetism
-Each command you send to the Cadimella, it talks back to you, it can talk ladies and gentlemen, it can talk back to you as its in space .


Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us (c) :iconros-kovac:

HOWLEE LAWDY NIGGUH! IT CAN RETURN? ANTI-GRAVY-TY WITH DEM FUCKING MAGNETS (HOW DO THEY WORK?) IT CAN TALK TO YA BACK? Like wut? "Im not yo homie nigguh, I beez in spess n shit, ya give comands to yar bitch, dawg!" It say it can talk ladies and gentlement, can it talk them to bed? But most importantly, the general idea is that if this metal bowl can somehow carry a mouse to space, it CERTAINLY can do the same with a human. Can we volunteer Obama to be the first Afronaut?

But yes. This is state of the art, demonstrated here in all it's aluminum foil glory:

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Dem buttons, man.

You'll say: - damn Torture-Device, you're a racist, horrible motherfucker, why you come up with this crazy shit to make black people appear dumb and savage? This is most likely a racist white supremacist fraud to cover up the fact that indeed, Africa is moving forward with all her might and becoming the leading power of the world, with all the fucking VIBRANCY in that motherfucker? The unity? The POWER OF DA BLACK MAN COMPELLING YA? Jesus, Torture-Device, it's not like Egypshuns and shiet invented stuff, it's not like Africans had dem universities and brilliant cultural social thingies when we savage whites were bathing once in a lifetime in dirty Europe? It's not like we didn't steal everything from these peaceful minorities who couldn't defend their innovation? This be a fraud, you bigot.

But no. It's fo rizzle - check out the ASRP site, the organization of the African Space Research Programm: ugandanway.com/asrp/news.php

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

And these are these mighty brains behind the breakthrough, this brilliant spark of black ingeniousity:
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Oh these smiling faces, each of them denying the horribly rayciss myth of the Bell Curve. You know these people are gonna launch this space probe with a giant rubber band, and then it, wheezing, would propell itself through the air and vacuum with its 120mm PC fan powered by a piece of buffalo dung. Who needs NASA or Roskosmos?

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

But hey. We're still told about how black people are great. How they are capable of great things. And this is their great thing when they're not working for some white guy or corp. I mean, jesus. In Russia space flight had been a special thing, given our breakthroughs and contributions to the humanity in this branch of science and industry. We had launched a man in space only 60 years after being a rather technologically backwards agrarian country, that had suffered a devastating war.

And despite all the humanitarian aid and technology supply of Africa, they do this. What is this, but not a testament of difference? And don't tell me this shit sucks because it's a small-team, underfunded project.

This is what black people do on their own: youtu.be/qF2FQIoXMYg

This is what white people do on their own with limited resources: rt.com/news/hover-bike-star-wa…

The space probe fiasco, and the Skyhawk fiasco - srsly, see the above Youtube video about a Ugandan plane with no rudders, no ENGINE, no NOTHING but a fuselage - is just the testament to the "cargo cult" nature of black people. They just can't into technology.
They try to slap together some Radioshack debris parts together to make it look like the shit the abhorrent whitey does, and they think it will do the exact same thing. Its a CARGO CULT. And dont even try to excuse it with lack of information - these people do have Internet access, they have videocameras, they have cellphone, all that shit, but they have no idea how anything works. They can just smile and say big words like parrots, not really processing whats going on. They are fucking unbelievable.

This is just brilliant. I'm hiccuping still from this invaluable piece of evidence, that so solidly, blantantly stomps the pink-glassed liberal egalitarian fantasies in the soil in pieces. Into the fucking mud. Yes, fuckers, look at this shit, look at it and weep - your favorite disadvantaged minority performs so WELL when the playing field is evened, doesnt it? It so vividly demonstrates the futility of venture and development in the region where these people dwell. They have no shame of their ignorance, no awareness of their cargo cult.

Instead of building the wheel, they try to imitate a plane.

And really - these people, if we're supposedly their descendants, had a headstart on us whites. So why are they lagging behind? Why - and isn't this the answer to this question? The answer that no matter the donations, the aid, the cheating in rules, affirmative action, grants and so on - biology, simple fucking physiology, trumps all of the stupid white libfags cum-crusted dreams and movies and ads about smart and smooth black doctors and scientists. There's their Django, looking in the cam and holding a mock-up piece of shit, announcing it can launch a man in space.


Spooknig 1, this is ground control... we have a problem. Pilot had suffered a cooncussion when launching the probe, over.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

____


Also, thanks for all the feedback on mah audioblog! Taken everything into processing, so look out for the new and improved rant coming next week)

Add a Comment:
 
:iconambiant:
Uganda is a regressive shit hole of a country; Uber Religious (primarily Roman Catholic), sham-tastic elections, horrific tin-plated dictator operating under the guise of a democratic government, constant civil war and appalling civil rights record. Everything Uganda touches turns to shit, little wonder, their "space toaster" did as well...
Reply
:icongnarwalde:
Gnarwalde Mar 25, 2013  Student General Artist
Hahahaha, glory to us. Just shows you how the frontal lobe can make such a difference.
Reply
:iconalexmdle:
AlexMdle Mar 25, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Will everyone stop with the whining already?

Torture-device whines about people whining to him about Africans, to which I see people either responding by sucking up to him or whining about it incessantly.

I do find this thing monumentally stupid, but would not haste to judge the innate nature of an entire race with this. Frankly, the focus he put up to there shows that he really didn't do his homework on the nature of development there. He's smart, he can do better than that, but he's also not goddamn infallible.
Reply
:icontorture-device:
torture-device Mar 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
im goddamn infallible
Reply
:iconalexmdle:
AlexMdle Mar 25, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Nah.
Reply
:icontorture-device:
torture-device Mar 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yah
Reply
:iconmargenal:
Margenal Mar 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
[link]

Not a real stroy, but this artiisanal work made me think of this pearl of dark cynism
Reply
:icontorture-device:
torture-device Mar 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
sorry, but we're talking about real shit only here on my blog.
Reply
:iconnick1020:
My god. I can't tell you guys are serious or not.
Reply
:iconmbachsylla:
Has even one of you people been in north Africa or in countries like Ghana, Ethiopia, or Tunisia, those countries are awesome. Seriously I hate the image the media is giving to Africa as a whole, always taking on front cover those retarded central Africans and ignoring the rest.
I am African, Half Guinean and Senegalese, I have been around the world, lived in Europe (studied there) been in the US (Minnesota n other).
And I swear that if I had to choose a place to live permanently it would be in one of my home countries not Anywhere else.

It just pains me to see how you Caucasian bastards LUST for the image of poor pathetic stupid ill fed Africa.
Reply
Add a Comment: