Muh fursona I maed it!
TEH IMPORTANT INFU
[Full Name:] - Ridonkulus
[Alias:] - Ridon, Douche, Idiot, HEY YOU, Pig, that fucker, cumguzzling cockmuncher
[Gender:] - Male
[Physical Age:] - 1488 human years, but his inner troll is the contemporary of the Elder Gods.
[Birth Place:] Dark armpits of Hell
[Species:] - Hog/Shark Hybrid. Ok gais, HOG and SHARK. Ridon isn't some fucking dragon or wolf, k? Get that straight. What ? You say you can't put together a hog and a shark? Well fuck you, you have no imagination.
[Orientation:] Metrosexual. He likes to do it in the subway.
[Friends:] HE'S GOT NO FRIENDS, K? Because of that he's like constantly DEPRESSED and cutz himselfe
[Enemies:] Captain America and the Robot Unicorn
[Diet:] Nazi hunters
[Children:] A crunchy delicacy.
[Loves:] Bullies, authority figures, the humanity, cops, the Republican party, the church, being told what to do, education, anime, drinking, back-stabbing assholes, metal, discrimination, racism, little children, harrasment, sexism, drugs, alcohol, sweet rave parties, crystal meth especially, wars, movies and such. And Stephanie Meyer. She's hot. Big hips and everything.
[Hates:] Misanthropists, liberals, good weather, atheists, nerds, neckbeards, Guitar Hero, consoles, pop music, chickenshits, heights, nature and bleeding-heart animal defendors.
[Personality:] - Ridonkulus is tough and gruff, but that outer steel shell hides and gentle and fragile personality full of UNCONTROLLABLE PSYCOTHIC RAGE OF EVIL. He has depression over 9 times a day, doesn't trust no one and believes the government is covering up an alien invasion conspiracy. He talks to Jesus on a daily basis and Jesus tells him to go out, kill and eat people.
[Disorders/Diseases:] - All the normal and nice mental disorders. APD, OCD, ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia, Bulimia, Psycopathy, etc. Also suffers from Aids and constant Swine Flu he spreads around
[Fears:] Clean socks.
 Ridon has opposable hooves which allows him to use normal human things.
 Ridonkulus is a Nazi military experiment that was targeted to create the ultimate killing machine ever. It would've succeeded if the allies hadn't won, so he was cryogenically frozen in a bunker near Kaliningrad. He was later discovered by the Soviet forces and signed an alliance with them. He served in Vietnam where the natives saw him as the spirit of vengeance under the name of the Red Hog.
 His blood is a lethal toxic venom, 1 drop of which would turn a horse impotent and make a person suffer from autism and nerdiness.
 He has an immunity to fucking everything, including Cyclops Lazer or being bathed in ionized plazma. His bones are made from adamantium and he can survive without oxygen in outer space. Though that gives him a boner.
 During rage or psychosis, he usually throws himself on the ground, kicks with all limbs and yells: "I WANT IT NOW MOMMY, NOW NOW NOW NOOOOOOWWWW!"
 Most of his accessories are optional. Except the AK.
 His boots are always present and he doesn't take them off. They double as biological warfare.
 He can swim underwater easily.
 He's the original carrier of Swine Flu. When he disperses the second complimentary agent to it, it would turn all affected by Swine Flu into zombies and the Z-day shall begin.
 His fangs are a terrifying melee weapon. And are very helpful in digging out the expensive and absolutely delicious, truffels.
 He listens to his cowon player ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME. Likes to dance too.
 Has many scars, mostly on his front legs, where he used to cut. Also has scars on fins. It gives him DEPTH and UNIQUENESS/
 Like me, Ridon has an abnormal underdeveloped brain and doesn't understand shit what's told to him, making him retrograde and stubborn. Possibly it's the effect of bleach on his brain.
 The syringes on his shoulders draw out the extensive amount of his toxic blood to store as weapons.
 His tentacles are prehensile and are full of sensor cells that can double all what he feels.
 Ridonkulus is able to release his Troll form at will and in it becomes an epic super-sayan shithead.
 He's can also turn into a dragon, a Transformer or vampire at will. He's a 70 lvl Warlock and is able to summon Elemental creatures. In addition, his snout has the imprint of the map of Vril and he carries within his blood Hitler's genes that are to be extracted in needed times, and let the latter be cloned with all the memories.
 Damn, ain't he fucking awesome? I think I jizzed myself from the amount of my creativity
[Theme songs] - too many to list. But it's all KVLT and br00tal. And also, "Fairytale" by Rybak.
DO NOT STEAL THIS ORIGINAL AND UNIQUE CREATION AND PLEASE DRAW ME LOTSA, LOTSA PRETTY SHINY FANARTS, K?
ps. doing this parody was lots of fun)) don't be afraid,